Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Peace
For some reason I woke up with a fresh wave of peace. It was clearly different than what I've been experiencing. I haven't asked for peace lately because I felt that God had given me enough, but I'm so thankful He's giving me more. Whoever has been praying for increased peace for us... well, your prayers have been answered. Today Jake is down to 173 pounds. I'm concerned for him but not worried. God has been reminding us everyday in big and little ways that He loves us and knows us. He is meeting our needs in every way possible. Jacob is in His hands and I know my man will be ok.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Day 5 of the Diet
Jake is down to 177 pounds. That's 2 1/2 pounds lost in 24 hour and 8 pounds in a week. Altogether he's lost 27 since the symptoms started over a year ago. To me, who has seen him at a healthy weight, he looks very thin. This morning he was in the bathroom for over an hour, puking, cramping and groaning from the intensity of the pain. The flare ups leave him pale and completely drained of energy. The fact that he's still losing blood doesn't help either. He has a hard time even speaking after the flare-ups. It's so hard to sit outside the door, unable to help him. Praying is all I can do. We are cutting some additional things out of the diet that we suspect may be the cause of this flare up. Add peanut butter, almond flour, cheese and kifir to the list of illegal foods.
Yesterday at church, we were called to the front to be prayed for. A large part of the congregation came up, laid hands on us and it was powerful and so encouraging. We feel so blessed to be a part of such a loving community. Afterward, we received a word from a wonderful, godly woman at church. She felt God say about Jacob that this disease was not going to result in Jacobs death. She felt like God was directing us to Psalms 142. Specifically Psalms 142:5 "
5I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living."
It was confirmation for us of the peace we know in the midst of the storm. Even though we both feel that things may get much worse before they get better, we have so much hope. Many things are uncertain about our future right now, but regardless of what happens with Jacobs body, our finances, his job etc... we are in good hands! Neither of us takes any credit for how we're handling this. It is completely Gods grace and real presence that is keeping us so calm.
Last weekend God gave me three clear pictures that were so encouraging. The first picture was of me, inside a heart, sitting Indian style. I was looking down at the ground, it was dark outside and I was unable to see anything. In the second picture I saw myself sitting in the same position except my head was raised, looking straight ahead. Still it was dark and I could see nothing. In the next picture He I was still sitting but looking straight up into the sky and the stars were as bright as could be. For the first time I could see light.
He showed me that the first picture = burdened by current circumstances and unable to even raise my head. All I could see was "now" and how confusing and discouraging everything was. The second picture = looking too far into the future. Concerned about tomorrow... trying to control what cannot be controlled. Worried about Jacob getting better, worried about money, worried about him not being able to work and provide for the family. The third picture = letting go of the burdens of today, not worried about the future but instead, looking towards the ultimate Healer and Provider and letting Him take us into his loving embrace and finding freedom in knowing His goodness and heart towards us. I recently heard a quote that goes something like this... the darker the night the brighter the stars. I see this being true in my life right now. God wants the posture of our hearts to be towards Him. Nothing else. There is so much in our lives that demand our attention. We take on too much and forget that God knows our needs, our desires, our bodies and our futures better than we ourselves.
Yesterday at church, we were called to the front to be prayed for. A large part of the congregation came up, laid hands on us and it was powerful and so encouraging. We feel so blessed to be a part of such a loving community. Afterward, we received a word from a wonderful, godly woman at church. She felt God say about Jacob that this disease was not going to result in Jacobs death. She felt like God was directing us to Psalms 142. Specifically Psalms 142:5 "
5I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living."
It was confirmation for us of the peace we know in the midst of the storm. Even though we both feel that things may get much worse before they get better, we have so much hope. Many things are uncertain about our future right now, but regardless of what happens with Jacobs body, our finances, his job etc... we are in good hands! Neither of us takes any credit for how we're handling this. It is completely Gods grace and real presence that is keeping us so calm.
Last weekend God gave me three clear pictures that were so encouraging. The first picture was of me, inside a heart, sitting Indian style. I was looking down at the ground, it was dark outside and I was unable to see anything. In the second picture I saw myself sitting in the same position except my head was raised, looking straight ahead. Still it was dark and I could see nothing. In the next picture He I was still sitting but looking straight up into the sky and the stars were as bright as could be. For the first time I could see light.
He showed me that the first picture = burdened by current circumstances and unable to even raise my head. All I could see was "now" and how confusing and discouraging everything was. The second picture = looking too far into the future. Concerned about tomorrow... trying to control what cannot be controlled. Worried about Jacob getting better, worried about money, worried about him not being able to work and provide for the family. The third picture = letting go of the burdens of today, not worried about the future but instead, looking towards the ultimate Healer and Provider and letting Him take us into his loving embrace and finding freedom in knowing His goodness and heart towards us. I recently heard a quote that goes something like this... the darker the night the brighter the stars. I see this being true in my life right now. God wants the posture of our hearts to be towards Him. Nothing else. There is so much in our lives that demand our attention. We take on too much and forget that God knows our needs, our desires, our bodies and our futures better than we ourselves.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Diagnosis
On April 26, 2011, Jacob came home from work and immediatly rushed to the bathroom to throw up. We had spoken several times throughout the day and he had commented each time that his stomach hurt and that he felt very weak. I didn't think much about it because for more than a year he had complained of a painful belly and always seemed to have very low energy. As the evening progressed so did his pain. At one point I found him laying on the bedroom floor crying because of the pain. He threw-up uncontrollably for hours. After lots of prayer and no improvement Jacob said with much conviction that he had to go to the hospital. As soon as he said it I knew it was serious. Jacob is a tough cookie and has never been to the hospital before.
After a CT scan, blood tests, upper GI endoscopy, a conlonoscopy, lots of pain meds and three days in the hospital rehydrating and getting a blood trasnfusion (he had lost half his blood supply because of internal bleeding), Jacob was diagnosed with Crohns disease and four ulcers in his small intestine. I'd never even heard of the disease before then. The Doctor gave a brief description of what the disease was, telling us that it was incurable and that Jacob would need to be on medication the rest of his life. He said we could get more aggressive with the medicine if need be. I asked about dietary instructions and his exact words were "Jacob is young and healthy. He should be able to eat whatever he wants." Call me arrogant but that Doctor was immediately discredited, to a degree, after he said that. I mean seriously... how can you say there is nothing special to eat or avoid when you have bleeding sores in your intestines??? Don't get me wrong... I highly respect and acknowledge the Doctors education, experience and knowledge... but feel that it's very narrow minded to not look beyond medicine for cures.
The last two weeks have been stressful, hopeful, confusing, tiring, exciting and more. Jake and I have both done an incredible amount of reading in search of a solution. We've both felt very alone at times seeing as the only direction from the medical world was to take medicine to ease symptoms for this incurable disease. Looking back over the past five years I truly feel that God has been preparing us for this by taking us on a journey of increased awareness and passion for a healthy lifestyle. We'd already made many changes to our diet before this happened.
For the next month our whole family will be on a diet that combines ideas from Dr. Mercola, Jordan Rubin, who writes "The Makers Diet", and Elaine Gottschall "Breaking the Vicious Cycle" with The Specific Carbohydrate Diet. I feel confident that one way or another, by us partnering with our Father, the Great Healer, Jacob will become well and whole. I'm not sure if healing will come by way of a quick miracle or diet changes, but for now I feel great peace and purpose in pursuing this diet.
This blog is our story of getting Jacob and Samuel (who we suspect has Celiac Disease) completely cured of this "incurable" sickness. I'm excited and thrilled about this journey!
After a CT scan, blood tests, upper GI endoscopy, a conlonoscopy, lots of pain meds and three days in the hospital rehydrating and getting a blood trasnfusion (he had lost half his blood supply because of internal bleeding), Jacob was diagnosed with Crohns disease and four ulcers in his small intestine. I'd never even heard of the disease before then. The Doctor gave a brief description of what the disease was, telling us that it was incurable and that Jacob would need to be on medication the rest of his life. He said we could get more aggressive with the medicine if need be. I asked about dietary instructions and his exact words were "Jacob is young and healthy. He should be able to eat whatever he wants." Call me arrogant but that Doctor was immediately discredited, to a degree, after he said that. I mean seriously... how can you say there is nothing special to eat or avoid when you have bleeding sores in your intestines??? Don't get me wrong... I highly respect and acknowledge the Doctors education, experience and knowledge... but feel that it's very narrow minded to not look beyond medicine for cures.
The last two weeks have been stressful, hopeful, confusing, tiring, exciting and more. Jake and I have both done an incredible amount of reading in search of a solution. We've both felt very alone at times seeing as the only direction from the medical world was to take medicine to ease symptoms for this incurable disease. Looking back over the past five years I truly feel that God has been preparing us for this by taking us on a journey of increased awareness and passion for a healthy lifestyle. We'd already made many changes to our diet before this happened.
For the next month our whole family will be on a diet that combines ideas from Dr. Mercola, Jordan Rubin, who writes "The Makers Diet", and Elaine Gottschall "Breaking the Vicious Cycle" with The Specific Carbohydrate Diet. I feel confident that one way or another, by us partnering with our Father, the Great Healer, Jacob will become well and whole. I'm not sure if healing will come by way of a quick miracle or diet changes, but for now I feel great peace and purpose in pursuing this diet.
This blog is our story of getting Jacob and Samuel (who we suspect has Celiac Disease) completely cured of this "incurable" sickness. I'm excited and thrilled about this journey!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)